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I haven’t talked about it with pretty much anyone because I don’t want to talk about it, but I feel very ignored as a result. And I know it’s my own fault. There isn’t really a way to win with me right now. If you ignore it, I don’t feel validated. If you talk about it, I get upset.
I feel angry pretty much all the time. And angry for the wrong reasons and at the wrong people. I see how unreasonable I’m being in the moment, but it doesn’t seem to stop me from reacting. I’m trying to stop pushing everyone away but it’s really difficult and sometimes I want them to push back and other times I feel smothered when they try.