Once I started something where I was reading my favorite book on here (like posting an audio each day with part of it) and I was recently asked to do that again so I may. Let me know if anyone has a suggestion of a book they’d like read which isn’t crazy long (no 900 pagers or we’ll go all year!). Also let me know if you’d even want that because I felt silly posting it last time and ended up deleting it after a while.
I think you have "graduat student syndrome" or "imposter syndrome". It's basically where you feel like an imposter or a fraud who is contantly fooling everyone into thinking you know what you re doing or that you deserve to be where you are when you really don't. You should def. google it! My point it that you deserve the praise you get, you worked hard and deserve your title and rank, and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. xo M
I think a lot of people feel like this though. It’s easy to think others have it more together and I’m just pretending, but I do know that I am successful because I do a good job. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel awkward doing it though ;) And thank you for the kind words!
“I don’t understand why people care so much about showing that they are good; because I am rather comfortable with having badness, quite okay with being inexplicable. They tire themselves so. The light is beautiful; but light can’t hide treasures like the darkness can.”—C. JoyBell C.
“But here’s the thing: healing doesn’t have to be heavy. It doesn’t have to feel like a tiresome concept that we lug around on our backs; one that holds within it the burden of our pain and suffering. It doesn’t have to be cloaked in drama. Healing can mean whatever the hell you want it to mean; happiness, softness, awareness, forgiveness, letting go, returning to totality…”—Tara Bliss
“Embrace aging. It’s very simple. As you grow, you learn more. if you stayed at twenty-two, you’d always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two. Aging is not just decay, you know. It’s growth. It’s more than the negative that you’re going to die, it’s also the positive that you understand you’re going to die, and that you live a better life because of it.”—Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie
I want so badly not to want to run. But I do. I want to destroy this. I want to negate every thought that what we share is legitimate and instead leave without a trace. Then again, I also want you to be mine. Spend every night in your bed with your arms around me, being told that I have a smell that reminds you of me, and having you not leave the bed without kissing my forehead… Or hand… Or back. That’s the problem. I want to run and I want to stay. I want to tell you that I need to end this. I don’t want to break my walls down yet I want to be completely vulnerable. Either I keep this persona who’s skin and heart have been protected by armor all these years or I get you. And I’m not quite sure which is scarier.
Life has no victims. There are no victims in this life.
No one has the right to point fingers at his/her past and blame it for what he/she is today. We do not have the right to point our finger at someone else and blame that person for how we treat others, today.
Don’t hide in the corner, pointing fingers at your past. Don’t sit under the table, talking about someone who has hurt you. Instead, stand up and face your past! Face your fears! Face your pain! And stomach it all! You may have to do so kicking and screaming and throwing fits and crying- but by all means- face it!
“I am not interested in having the world revolve around me; that’s too boring of an idea. I would rather revolve around the world and try to leave my fingerprints, everywhere. My fingerprints mingled in with all the other fingerprints and all the laughter and all the beautiful things like gratitude, grace, faithfulness and flowers.”—C. JoyBell C.
“The small smiles everybody wanted to try to figure out – they meant nothing, really. She wasn’t so good at talking and the smiles made up for it. They filled the spaces in which she ought to have answers for things with something that gave people more questions.”—C. JoyBell C.